男孩子有男孩的天性，女孩有女孩的天性，调皮是孩子在个性发展和舒适生活环境中的自然行为，
但是当孩子过于调皮时，你应该怎么做？由决定性的纪律来调整？你自然想通过适度的教育来纠
正他们过剩的精力而且不伤孩子的自尊心。另一方面，你还要留意被溺爱孩子所特有的坏习惯。
就像大多数心理学者认同的一样，最初的教导通常是阻止你的孩子伤害他们自己和别人，
教孩子明白最基本的对错和道德观念。俗话说，“教养来自家庭”，养成好的行为习惯同时也
要教育孩子如何尊重父母，在这期间每个孩子都是独立的个体并不可能建立统一的时间表，专
家建议刚出生六个月就可以建立起父母亲的威信，这是非常重要的时期建立规矩并成为生活行
为习惯——早期的规则制定是孩子未来行为模式的根基。
你制定规矩的目的是希望培育出一个快乐，适应性强，尊重规则的孩子，许多父母亲对于去
伤害或欺负其他孩子，失礼或不尊重父母的行为惩罚选择保留权，导致他肆意去伤害动物，其他
人或物品。训导经常适用在当孩子在睡觉的时间不睡觉，挑食或吃药的期间，或不愿做家务活家
庭作业。对于儿童来说，有些顽皮行为是预料中的也是可以忍受的。许多2-3岁的孩子对任何事
情都说“不”是成长过程的自然阶段，我们应该理解。同样，有时孩子们的顽皮并没有伤害的意
图，这时候需要父母亲运用最大限度的判断力来决定哪种行为是任性固执的有意伤害，哪种行为
是成长过程的自然行为。
当你的孩子到了阅读的年龄，你可以把规则写在纸上并贴在家里，这是让孩子明白你制定的
规则不仅仅是制度而且是体现公平合理的好方式。你应当考虑什么类型的违反行为是惩罚底线，
没有特权和限定时间等——一旦违反规定就实施并长期在兄弟姐妹们之间坚持这种原则。孩子们
明白并认可这种形式，没有什么可以破坏他们的尊重，就像表面上的不遵守规则。制定你的规则
并坚持实际上是帮助你的孩子养成良好的行为习惯。
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Beginning Baby Discipline
By: Justin Harrison
Boys will be boys, and little girls will be little girls. Acting up is
natural for children as they develop their identity and become more
comfortable in their environment. But what do you do when the child
goes too far, and decisive discipline is in order? Of course, you want
to use the right amount of corrective energy, and not risk damaging the
child\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s self-esteem. On the other hand, you\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'re probably leery of
spoiling the child or setting them on a path of bad behavior.
As most child psychologists will agree, the major priorities of discipline
are to keep your child from hurting themselves and others, and to teach
the child a basic understanding of morality, or right and wrong. To
paraphrase an old saying, discipline begins at home, and good disciplining
habits begin with teaching the child a healthy respect for your parental
authority. While of course all children are individuals and it\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s impossible
to create an all-purpose timetable, experts recommend you start asserting
your authority as early as six months. It\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s important in these early
months to set priorities and to stay consistent - early discipline and
boundaries are largely the template on which a child\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s future behavior
will be based.
Priorities should reflect you goals for raising a happy, well-adjusted,
obedient child. Many parents choose to reserve the strictest punishments
for harming or bullying other children, disrespecting property or
parental authority, or willfully causing harm or damage to animals,
others, or belongings. Moderate discipline is used for when the child
doesn’t follow by set rules - observing the proper bedtime, refuses
to eat food provided or take medicine, and failure to do chores or
work. For very small children, some acting out is to be expected
and to a certain extent tolerated. For many children between the
ages of two and three, repeatedly saying \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"no\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\" to everything is
a natural growing impulse and should be tolerated. Similarly, children
may act out without meaning harm, and parents need to exercise the utmost
discretion in determining what is willfully bad behavior and what is
a natural consequence of growing pains.
Once your child becomes old enough to read, putting the rules of
the house down on paper and posting them is a good way to get your
child to understand not just your rules but also a sense of fair
play and equanimity. You should also consider what type of punishment
- grounding, lack of privileges, time out, etc - will be levied against
what type of rules infraction in advance, and stick to this policy over
time and between siblings. Children understand and indeed even crave
structure, and nothing undermines their respect like seemingly arbitrary
discipline. Setting your policies and sticking to them actually helps
your children to behave. |